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Can you hear my voice?

“You probably didn’t know this, but I don’t really fit in at school. It’s cause I have trouble looking people in the eye, so it’s easier for me to just stare at the floor all the time.” -Shoya Ishida

When we think of loneliness, its easy to almost tremble in fear. As introverted as most of us can be (myself included), there are always those one or two people who make just a little bit better. Be it those parents or family members who make us feel safe and accepted, those friends who make us life and part of something, heck, even those pets that make us feel loved to the simplest and purest degree. 

Yet there are those of us who aren’t so lucky. Those who feel like maybe they aren’t worth the love of another, or have been made to believe so. Those who maybe were neglected by their parents, left behind by classmates and even coworkers, never allowed to even have something to hold on to and call their own. Those who live a truly lonely existence. The reality is that a lot of people, even when surrounded by many others who care about them, still feel lonely. Because loneliness has, in truth, has nothing to do with being alone and everything to do with being disconnected from everyone around you, willingly or not. 

To be there, in the middle of a courtyard, or a hallway, a mall or a classroom, surrounded by those you call your piers, yet being filled with this void in your chest and your heart, the lack of strength of having the need to reach out yet being unable to because in your head, your thoughts say to you : “You don’t want to be a burden” “They wouldn’t understand.” “They don’t care.” “It’s not your place to bother them.”

“You are not worth it.”

Think back to your years as a preteen or teenager. Those years that you look back upon and maybe cringe and feel embarrassed about. Back when we thought we could conquer the world if we tried hard enough. Maybe you had a bit of an emo phase, maybe you started to rebel. Maybe you started drinking and smoking when your parents couldn’t see you. Back in those years when all that mattered was fitting in because that was the age that we started to understand loneliness. We would have done anything to fit with the crowd that we cared about, trying to be someone so that we wouldn’t be alone. 

This feeling, born from simply growing up is augmented by so many preventable elements that we don’t really have control over in our lives; the death of a loved one, the negligence of a parent, even something as simple as being born different, be that with a condition, a different skin color, culture or even loving wrong. For a society so inclined to accept difference we have a clear line from what those differences are acceptable and those that aren’t, it doesn’t matter if you’re from one side of the spectrum or another, in the end everyone is just as close minded, hollow, and the lonely and different are the ones who end up paying the price for it. 

Eventually a lot us find solace in many different aspects of life, be them religion, art, music, sport, studies, writing; we seek to find a purpose that is greater than our loneliness, a purpose through which we find like minded people that will fill that hole within our chest and silence that fear in our hearts. 

Yet there are those who still seek and who have been seeking for a long time now. There are those who no matter how much they try to find solace, they feel it always sleeping away from their fingers like sand. There are those who somewhere along the line gave up and chose to either live a quiet death, or end a darkened life. 

To you, the lonely, I call. 
To you, the withered heart. 
How deep is the chasm
That permeates your soul?

-JRG Original (2023)

When doubt and sadness blinds you, when you feel unable to talk, walk or breath, being alive is almost a hassle. I know cause I’ve been there, in that lonely sorrow. There in the place where you feel like it’s useless to reach out. All because we are afraid that if we speak up and try to get help we will be silence, ignored and hurt. 

But you are not alone.

None of you are. 

You might find yourself holding on to the precipitate, some of you may have already fallen once or more. But when the night is dark, and you find yourself in the abyss, remember this; your voice can echo in the dark, so take a moment, breath, and scream. Let out all the anger, the sadness, the rage and the pain. Let out all that tears you down from within, and when all is set and done, your strength fading, reach out to.  As lonely as we all can be, I promise you that there are always those of us who are willing to help you be free. 

“Back then, if we could have heard each other’s voices, everything would have been so much better.” -Shoya Ishida

For this world will always try to tear us down. Why should we bury those who walk along with us?

Thank you for reading.

I apologize for the late upload, I got sick and was unable to post. Hopefully everything can keep going on smoothly from here on out. 

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