So I just recently moved to a new city, which is the reason I haven’t been here in a good bit. It was a long journey and getting used to everything being new again, getting used to streets that I’ve never been on and settling into a place all on my own for the first time has been both challenging yet so very freeing. Still, as all the time passed and I found small moments of quite stillness among all the commotion of the city, there was a topic that kept creeping up on me in many conversations and even events of people that I follow or know.
Mortality.
And, though I believe I have touched on the subjected once or twice before, it still is a topic which I like to write and talk about a lot, for it is the reason that we find value in this life. Holding on to the memories, voice and smiles of people who we meet, love and know until all that’s left of them is a fleeting memory that once day will be no more. It is the reason why we love, why we hold dear and make promises “till death do us part”. The great end of all things is what, in the end, gives us the motivation to keep walking even when we don’t have strength anymore, what gives us the will to look for purpose when we feel lacking and what motivate us to grow in faith when despair tries to tear into our hearts.
Yet it is the reason for great sorrow, the one wound that can never be fully healed. A scar that hurts not the flesh but the soul. The sudden death of a loved one, the missing place where a friend use to be, the hollow shell where a son or daughter once was. It is in our mortality that we find the greatest joy and pain, for the circle of life takes its place even if we’re not ready.
So the question that I ask today then is this, what would you do if you only had a few months to live? What would you do if they said “We don’t know when it’ll happen, but you won’t make it more than a year or two.”?
And that’s where we greet today’s character of discussion: Kaori Miyazono (Spoiler Warning from the very sad but beautiful anime “Your Lie in April”)
As humans, we are bound to seek three transcendental truths. First thought off by the Greek philosophers of old and then adopted and given a firmer shape by medieval scholars. These three truths that give meaning to life are simple: Beauty, Goodness and Truth.
Your Lie in April is probably one of the best depictions of the search for these three transcendental truths with Kaori herself being the conduit from which these truths take shape. But if she is the conduit, who then can tell of the effects that she has on everyone’s life?
Here comes Kosei Arima, tortured by his past and unable to even see color in his daily life because of the brokenness he has inside. Kosei starts as the antithesis to the message that the show will ultimately try to deliver. His past pain and trauma cloud his thoughts and desires, causing him to be unable to play music (beauty), becoming distant from most of those he loves (goodness) and ultimately closing his eyes and blaming himself for all the pain he carries, taking his path away from his ultimate truth.
So what happens when one who has strained so far the path of life meets with someone who is living their own absolute truth to the fullest?
In a sense, change.
Kosei, who has been unable to play the piano in public for some time now is suddenly thrown into center stage by a girl who he has met recently. It doesn’t go smoothly either, needing to go so far as to simply stop his performance while finding himself unable to even hear the notes come out. But Kaori, this girl he met with a spirit much more alive than his own, stops her own performance and doesn’t start until he’s ready to give it another go.
It is here that we see the heart of the show, Kosei is being give a chance to find beauty, goodness and truth in his life once more, at the possible cost of facing the pain of uncertainty once more. And Kaori is the element that will help him move onward and ultimately reencounter the pain that he already met once more.
“Everything you say and do, it sparkles all so brightly, sometimes I can’t even look; that’s how bright you shine… but I… I wanna be like you anyways!”
“Do you think you could just forget it?”
“That moment when my music touched them… I’ll never forget that feeling!”
Kaori lights up the sparks within Kosei’s soul, which will ultimately become the flames that reignite his passion as well as helps fuel those around him. For in our pain, we, like Kosei, aren’t able to see the effect we have on people for our motivation, our seeking of truth, goodness and beauty inspires others like ourselves as well as people who we might not even know.
Yet this journey to seek life will always eventually bring us to the price that we must pay in other to understand what it means to live in truth. And the price is always high.
The price for the revival of Kosei’s artistic soul is the loss of Kaori’s life. The one that brought life and color to him once more now finds herself losing her own. And as we see her through the series, she herself starts to become what Kosei was at the beginning of it all, a lost being who is losing all hope.
But Kosei isn’t willing to let her go down without fighting.
“Such a cruel boy. Telling me to dream one more time. I thought I was satisfied because my dream had come true… And I’d told myself it was enough… Yet here you are, watering this withered heart again.” -Kaori Miyazono
I won’t spoil the final few episodes, cause I wholeheartedly believe this anime is a must watch, however, I will say this.
Kosei and Kaori both sought to live their lives living true to who they were, helping each other up when they fell into the darkness of life. Kaori, not knowing if she is gonna make it or not, follows her dreams and becomes as bright as she can, living her truth, her dream of beauty and bringing goodness while enjoying the goodness that this cruel world can sometimes offer her. And it is because of that that for Kosei life gains color once again.
“A lump of steel, like a shooting star. Just seeing the same sky as you makes familiar scenery look different. I swing between hope and despair at your slightest gesture, and my heart starts to play a melody. What kind of feeling is this again? What do they call this kind of feeling? I think it’s probably… called love. I’m sure this is what they call love.” – Kousei Arima
“I want another chance to stand by your side. So please, play with me one more time.” -Kousei Arima.
Thank You.
References:
Dreamstrider's Corner 