The heart may be weak, and some times it may even give in… but I’ve learned that deep down there is a light that never goes out.” -Sora, Kingdom Hearts (2002)

There is this question that motivational speakers say “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” or some variation of it. The point of the question being to see what perspective you have on where your life is going, what your dreams might be, and your motivations to actually get there. However, if my dreams ever meant something, then perhaps it is a question that’s better left unanswered. 

Some time ago, I dreamt about awakening on my future self. The me that is travelled forward into the body of who I would become. And that part of me is one that I hope never is. Like a distopian novel, I had become the worse parts of myself; greedy, cruel and power hungry, pushing away those who love me and betraying the trust of those who I loved, all because my pride and greed. The simple story of a man who has everything but loses his humanity along the way.

Perhaps it is that, a simple dream. Or perhaps I have supernatural abilities to see into the future that I didn’t know I had which would compel me to open up a school for gifted youngers. Regardless, It is a dream I will forever use as a warning to myself about the things that I hope never to become. Still, I can’t say it didn’t affect me, cause in all honesty, I think about this dream endlessly, repeating the images over and over in my mind of everything I would hate to become. I am not the most selfless, nor the most self-righteous guy by any means, but I still try to be a decent human being. All of this brought me to the eventual topic of the darkness within oneself, about how we often allow our flaws or weaknesses to shine out more than our virtues and strengths. 

It is a tired trope in fiction. That the worse enemy of the main character is always the darkness that he has to face within himself. Yet even now it is one that resonates with many people simply because it’s true. In stories of world-ending threats, of heroes and villains, of battles between good and evil, we never truly accept or understand a hero until we understand who they are or what they are going through. It is through their struggles and their pains, through the way that even when the world is against them, they still rise up to the challenge, that we get to know them better, that we take a liking to them and, in a way, become the icons that we know and love. 

That’s why we have popular heroes like Batman and Spiderman. Ordinary people with extraordinary abilities that deal with the same internal struggles and pains that we do, yet always choose to be humans first. It is why superman, despite being an alien, is so popular. Because at the end of the day, he is just a kid from Kansas that, even with godly abilities, choses to be human first every day. 

Yet for me, like a lot of others my age, my first introduction to this concept of fighting the darkness within for the simple sake of being kind and choosing humanity, was Kingdom Hearts.

Kingdom Hearts, originally released in 2002 along with many following sequels, is an odd game. It follows the adventures of this anime boy with giant yellow shoes who fights with a giant key alongside Donald and Goofy from Disney. Along the way, they meet other Disney characters along with anime boys and girls to save them from a bad anime old man. It is without a doubt the most nonsensical, bizarre, and almost outrageous set of games in the world that I absolutely adore. Even taking my nostalgia goggles off and the bizarre and mistake loophole-ridden the series is, I can’t help but to love it. And the reason why I, along with many like me, both young and old, is simple; Kingdom Hearts works because it’s protagonist works.

Sora, the protagonist of Kingdom Hearts, is the definition of a goof. He is excitable, gullible, and a bit of a clutz, yet he is well-meaning, hopeful, loving, and most of all, kind. Many of us growing up looked up to him as a role model. The young and aspiring boy who took up any challenge that came his way with his head held high and unending positivity.

 And with each entry of said game, we grew alongside him. We saw him mature, facing many personal and thought-provoking challenges as each game came along until arriving at the ultimate sacrifice in Kingdom Hearts 3 (which is called 3, yet it’s like the 12th in the series XD).

Now, this being a discussion about the darkness that inhabits inside of us, you might be wondering why do I even bring him up.

Well, besides the game being literally the story of light vs darkness, there is one specific scene that I always go back to. Near the end of the game, when everything seems hopeless. For the first time ever, we see him break. When he thinks he has lost his friends and everything he has fought for, we see him kneel down, giving a loud scream of pain before crying softly. It is the first and probably the only time that we see him like this. Fighting a losing war, with his hope gone and when he gets overtaken and all seems lost, something still helps him cling on to life. More than want or need, more than responsibility or desire. What brings him back to life is love. The love of life, his friends, and most of all, his beloved. It is with this that, even when despair brings him to his knees, he still finds the hope to come back and fight for what he loves. 

And in the end, he sacrifices everything to give that which he loves one more chance. Because as he says in the first game “My friends are my power” a line which may be a little cliche or maybe even cringy to some, yet it holds true. We chose to fight and be the best of ourselves every day for the people and the things we love. That doesn’t mean we will always win, or even get it right. Yet it is the reason why we keep on walking and going strong every day. Even when everything else fails, and our faith is shaken, we walk tall with our heart as our guiding key. 

I know there is darkness within me. There is one thing I hope never comes true. Yet even with all my own bad, there is a light that shines too. One that I fight to carry every day, one that I hope never goes out. And as I walk, I will keep on living and learning all I can, so when it’s my turn to pass the lantern, I can impart the wisdom of a life well lived.

But for now, there is more to seek out there, so go forth now and seek it.